Malaysian English Best Lah!

 

Who says our English is teruk?

(Teruk means terrible.)

See evidence below.

Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point and effective.
 

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS

Britons: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Malaysians: No stock.
 

RETURNING A CALL

Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?

Malaysians: Hello, who call?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: Woi, Can go in ah?

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want lah.

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Quite lah!

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment..
Malaysians: Die lah!!

WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONGBritons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.
Malaysians: Like that also don't know!

And this is my contribution:

When politicians talk to you

Britons: Ladies and gentlemen, may I urge you to vote for me?

Malaysians: You scratch my back, I scratch your back!

And best, to argue or quarrel, use Singlish: