Sunday, April 12, 2009

Technical English Ala China

Lately I have been buying quite a number of bathroom accessories for my new home. Two things I noticed. Whether it is designed/inspired/originated from/or whatever it is always MIC. Not Semi-value MIC, but "Made In China".

The other peculiarity is the "technical instructions in English" for assembling or installing the gadget. This also reminds me of the descriptions you find in Chinese medicines with terms that you never heard of.

Ok. Let's go through the instructions for fixing this bathroom tray where you need only to press the suction cups in order to install it.

In exact words and spelling, the instructions go like this:

Convenience use
Beautiful space & Convenient life
1 First choose the right mounting position and clean off the dust and grease on the mounting surface.
2 Separate the adsorber completaly as illustrated.
3Suction the adsorption base in position accurately and adjust leftward and rightward. Be sure to discharge the air inside the adsorption base.
4 Put on the adsorber casing and press the center of screw forcibly to discharge off the air inside(it's required because the adsorption force will be reduced significantly in case of any air inside).
5 Insert the main body into the hole above the lid.
6 Tighten the knob and the mounting is complete.

Instead of consulting the dictionary over the difference between adsorption and absorption, I decided to just press the suction cups into position and tighten the knob. And wallah it's done!!

And here comes the Mother of all instructions at the end. There is this "friendship hint" which goes like this in exact wordings:

"Use this product time at weather's cooler area, can will acetabula set to marinate half minute behind again proceed installation in boiled water."

Caution: Please do not follow the above instruction if you lack the intellectual capacity to understand technical English ala China.

I followed the instruction above and fainted!!
And when I regained consciousness,............
look at my photo now!!


CheaHS@n said...

Too stressful until hair dropped by itself during unconsciousness or you were stressed out thus pulling all the hair just before you fainted? LOL Cool...Btw what is your grand-daughter's name?

Justin Choo said...

Her name is Mia Serena.

Race : Human race.

gk said...

Mia Serena,

Nice to know you. Could I have a date with you, Serena? I believe you are a good girl, Serena.

Haha, Justin, I read a few times the "Friendship hint" but still find it rather "unfriendly".

novice101 said...

Justin, it's looks like it isn't you alone who are having problem with understanding, looks like Muhyddin and Mahathir are having the same difficulty.

The Malaysian Insider says Muhyddin and Mahathir wonder why the Chinese and Indians have disdain for the BN. What are MCA, Gerakan and MIC doing? Can't they do a correct analysis and provide an answer or is UMNO not listen to them? Totally ignoring them?

There is no hope for peace in Malaysia when the people ruling the nation are 'confused, perplexed and puzzled' why part of the populace show disdain towards it. They think tossing millions of ringgit to build Chinese lanaguage schools should do the trick for them. This as what they did and it worked for them in past. The Chinese now realise they have been taken for a ride but it looks like BN is still in 'FantasyLand'.

Chiinese language schools are just that, schools! They are lifeless structures but here we are talking about human beings, emotional issues concerning the Chinese should be properly addressed.

I think Muhyddin is faking ignorance because in his very next breath, he issues a veiled threat by asking if the Chinese and the Indians are beginning to think they are now the kingmakers. With this type of arrogance how can you win the hearts of the non-Malays.

Justin Choo said...


Thanks for visiting.

Politicians are politicians. Even religious "teachers" succumb to self indulgence and arrogance. Over time, given the power and "authority" showered upon them, their egos expand and they can say anything they like and substantiate them with foolish reasons, most often nonsense and contradictory.

Such is life. Not many can stride above this tragedy of "power". I think if I were given this kind of power without checks and balances, I too will fall victim to this "power".


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