Sunday, June 21, 2009

Don't celebrate on Father's Day !

Mommy and the baby, the day of joy;
or was it the day "pay-back" time began?
(Picture taken on 17 Nov 1982)

Today is supposed to be Father's Day. The title of this post is for you to ponder and to share your views. Why celebrate only on Father's Day? This day, today, if you bring your father to a restaurant for lunch or dinner, you'll give your father a headache. First you'll complain when you arrive finding no place to park your car. Then when you get to the restaurant, it's full and you didn't make any prior reservation. But don't despair, since they are in the business of making money, they'll squeeze you in one corner of the corridor or walkway! That doesn't make Dad happy. Then the long wait for the food, and the hefty bill for the lousy food. can take Dad home. He should feel happy!!

If you want to make your father happy, celebrate the day or the week before the actual day, and tell your father that the actual day is not worth "celebrating", but will call in to have quality time with him in the park. Then tell him the day or the week after the actual Father's Day, you'll give him another lunch/dinner.

How's that??

Incidentally, I received a comment from my daughter in one of my posting about my Mother. This was what she wrote:

Joyce Chu said...

There are many things that most people fail to share with the people they love. We take them forgranted at times and tend to think that they will always be there.

Sometimes we don't say the things we could have, should have and would have and by the time we realize it, it's far too late.

A simple act of telling your father and mother that you love them is sometimes almost impossible, because you just cannot find the right words that sum up or even compare to the immeasurable love that they have for you.

So for this "Father's Day" I would like to say to both of my parents that they do indeed mean the world to me. For the innumerable times I have disappointed them, hurt them and failed to say "I love you" when it mattered most, their love has never faltered.

At times, we say things that hurt each other, but we only do it because we care and we hurt inside to see that the person we love is not doing things right or hurting others around them.

So, dad, this Father's Day I just wanted to remind you that I do love you and mom very much and that you are always the "man of the hour" to me. :)

Your daughter, Joyce.

For those who know me, this daughter has been a big problem. My wife and I are now taking care of her daughter full time. Each day when I give my granddaughter the shower, my heart aches. This is Father's Day for me.

Happy Father's Day!!


A true Malaysian said...


From what Joyce wrote to you, I believe she is fundamentally a nice, kind and caring person. That should be the comfort you and wife can get that no matter how 'naughty' Joyce maybe, her 'good root' is still intact.

You, your wife and her daughter can expect better time with Joyce from now on. Be optimistic, Justin.



"There are many things that most people fail to share with the people they love. We take them forgranted at times and tend to think that they will always be there."....

How true Joyce, for saying this. I couldn't agree with you more. There are points in time of our life, especially when we are young, we tend to be compulsive and stubborn headed in doing things that hurt our parents. But, most importantly, we realized these wrongs and willing to amend ourselves. It is always not too late to repent and make good for those wrongs.

I confess, on one occasion, I unintentionally hurt my late father and that remains a scar forever in my heart I regretted it for the rest of my life.

Justin Choo said...

My friend "A true Malaysian", thanks for your encouraging and thoughtful comments.

Joyce Chu said...

"A true Malaysian",

Thank you for having a truly open mind and being able to give my father another perspective about who the 'real' me is.

When I first saw what my father wrote about Father's Day and what it meant to him, I must admit that I was upset and hurt to see that he is still very much unhappy and disappointed with me. My first reaction was to retaliate with another comment because he made me feel so small.

Sitting down and thinking about it made me realize that I can spend the rest of my life seeking approval and never getting it, or moving on and being the somebody my parents brought me up to be.

My father's blog has indeed taught me one of the biggest lessons in life, being true to who I am.


I really do hope that one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me for all the silly things I have done and to let us heal as a family.

I am perhaps not the ideal daughter or the ideal mother but as human beings, we strive on the best we know how and the best we can. All things are impermanent.

Ps. Thanks for the photo of me and mom. In my mother's eyes I see the miracle of love and hope and I still see it today.


A true Malaysian said...

Hi Joyce,

I am surprised you responded to my comments. I wish to thank you for the compliment that I being having a 'truly open mind' which, frankly, I am not even sure myself. But, I do hope I could help in ending the 'cold war' between you and Justin.

I am an ardent fan of your dad's blogs (inclusive of "Life Is Like That" blog ). Like you, I learn a lot from his writings. For a man of having full of wisdom, I am quite surprised he is facing such a big mess with you.

Put it this way, human beings are imperfect, we have temperament and behaviour that we ourselves couldn't understand, and for this, we tend to forget the "intelligent" or "wisdom" that all of us have.

Joyce, as you said, "All things are impermanent", this alone is the valid reason why this "cold war" should not be a "permanent" one, agree?

Let's put words into actions...repent, forgive and forget.


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